White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
