I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Can you repeat that, but with context?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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