no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
