But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
