no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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