Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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