Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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