it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I woke up under a house in Key West
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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