her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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