u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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