so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
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Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
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I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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