so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
