Why does Corona taste like a burp?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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