I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
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You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
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I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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