maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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