I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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