Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
