Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
