EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
