This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Do vagina's smell?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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