I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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