yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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