how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize