is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
