so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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