So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
