I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
