i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
