my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
