$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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