my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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