he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize