I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
