I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize