happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
