So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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