Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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