i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
