i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Is Oprah even human
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
