Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
