He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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