Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
