i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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