my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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