The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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