What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
