...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
