She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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