i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
