whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
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I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
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You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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