fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
