R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
