Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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