I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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