just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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