I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize