Cold hands, warm shart.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
