My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
