This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
